Drops of Jupiter

It has been one week since I have arrived in the Netherlands, and time has flown by! Seven days ago, I was saying tearful goodbyes to my family and packing my life away into two giant suitcases. Now, I am living in a quaint dorm in the center of Utrecht with roommates from across the world. The emotional rollercoaster of this adventure cannot be seen beneath my sparkling Instagram photos of canals, grand architecture, and castles. These blog posts are a chance for me to authentically share my emotions during this study abroad journey. I hope to read these in a year’s time and realize the importance of every moment, every struggle, and every leap of faith.

At 4:30am on Sunday, my dad and I drove to Sacramento Airport to begin the adventure of a lifetime. For me, though, the anxiety of navigating four modes of transportation, heavy luggage, and leaving California by myself clouded the significance of the moment. The flights to Amsterdam were long and impossible to sleep on, even though my giraffe legs enjoyed the exit row seat. During a layover in Dallas, Texas, I called my family one last time with apprehensive glee. Throughout the two flights, a train, and an Uber to the hotel in Utrecht, I remained excited. Once I was alone in my hotel, however, a tsunami wave of homesickness struck. I became anxious about all of the logistics left to resolve, and I desperately missed the ease of home. I knew that I was where God wanted me to be, but I longed to make the ache of loneliness go away. I called my dad, grandma, and Miranda in blubbering tears, quite honestly ashamed that I wasn’t stronger. The two days in the hotel felt like being trapped in a cave, longing to be somewhere familiar again. Walking in the city, I was nervous about the language barrier, and was determined to not look like a clueless foreigner. I have never seen more tall blondes in my life!

Eventually, though, the storm subsided. I met my dorm-mates and we instantly felt comfortable chatting in each other’s rooms. I even joined one of them on a quick weekend trip to Brussels! Welcome Week at Utrecht University was not as organized as I had assumed, but I continued meeting more and more people. God winked at me when I met a group of Aussie girls-how I love Australia! I even bought my first bike, and the cheapest one they had happened to be pink-now I will feel like quite the native. My extroverted needs were met, and I no longer felt completely alone.

Literally, however, the storm did not subside. It has been gloomy and rainy in Utrecht since I arrived, which adds to the ambiance. Little moments of sunshine come throughout the day, stirring up a longing to see San Diego again.

I would be lying if I said that I am fully comfortable and confident here in Europe. I am currently wishing I could snuggle my dogs or laugh with my little brother again, and I fear that my friendships at home will dwindle while I am gone. Throughout it all, though, I cannot remember a time where I have more clearly witnessed God’s miracles and goodness. He has carved extraordinary miracles and answered even my smallest prayers. Right now, I am most looking forward to independently growing with Him and unabashadly trusting Him with the reins of my life.

Until next time, Katia