Drops of Jupiter

January was like “liminal space”-a transitional period in between where you’ve been and where you’re going. Seeing all of the semester students go home to their countries felt like I had hit the restart button, being left behind to savor Utrecht for another five months. Paradoxically, though, the realization that I am halfway through this experience stirred up a desperation to click “rewind”. This exchange no longer feels like a temporary adventure, but a new extension of my life. My routines, habits, and ambitions are fully molded around life in the Netherlands, and the thought of having to abandon it within half a year is heartbreaking. That being said, I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of the new semester and am eager to curate more memories.

2024 began in the frosty Swiss Alps with my friend from San Diego, Syd. She was the first person to visit me from the US, and parading her around Utrecht and Amsterdam made me feel like quite the local! I was so proud to show her a glimpse of my life here, and when she met my roommates worlds collided. Saying goodbye to her was more challenging than I had anticipated because it reminded me that life in California had not stopped for everyone like it had for me. Truthfully, it introduced me to the concept of “monachopsis”-being unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended environment. As I’ve been abroad and feeling out of place among my Dutch classmates, I had comfort knowing that I am fully and freely myself in the US. Hearing about all that has changed at home removed this comfort and made me wonder how I will fit in when I return. This all may sound quite sad, but it isn’t for me. I am excited that I am changing into a different person, someone who is more willing to take risks, stand up for herself, and accept other cultures. Syd’s gift to me (besides the Trans-Atlantic journey) was one of self-reflection, and I am so thankful to have gotten that well before leaving Utrecht.

The rest of these weeks were filled with studying for exams and developing better productivity/habits. Flaky puffs of snow dusted the streets for a few days in mid-January, and the canals froze a thin layer of ice; although I grew up in NorCal, this felt like my first true winter! I treated myself to the bus several times because I was nervous about the black ice while biking. After finals, I organized a goodbye surprise for my roommate, Grainne, who was moving out to a studio apartment nearby. All ten of us adorned the kitchen with garlands, bought snacks, and signed cards for her farewell; I think she was quite shocked! I would be sadder about her leaving had it not been for our “coding club” that she will host at her place twice a week with one of my other roommates. To jumpstart the plan, we traveled to Amsterdam to learn some coding basics at a bar-what a silly experience!

At the very end of this month, one of my biggest European dreams was fulfilled: Italy! Venice, Rome, Florence, and Milan welcomed me with “apricity”-the warmth of the sun in winter and lots of quality gelato! I journeyed with my friend, Anastasia, who is participating in a UCEAP program in Florence. I wish I could dedicate an entire blog on Italy, because it was such a special trip that I will romanticize forever, but instead I will include a quick excerpt from my journal after exploring Venice:

Today I traveled into Ariel’s kingdom & I wish I could’ve taken my toddler self, too. Salty air greeted us with topaz water that was such an unusual color it looked dyed. We meandered into empty alleyways with stores selling masquerade masks for the famous carnival tomorrow. Rows of fresh seafood with the sparkling sun was almost too much perfection; WAS I in an animated movie?

I am looking forward to February, where new exchange students are moving in, a new quarter is starting, and more trips are planned: northern lights, a long-lost friend, and visiting the neighboring country again? Only time will tell!

Have a sweet time in the month of love,
Katia